For me, the genre that falls into the latter category the should be put into the first is Reality TV. What was supposed to be a genre that shows people the face whomever, regular Joe Blow or Mary Celeb, without a script has become such a farce that it’s laughable.
The contestants on reality shows like Idol and X factor or most recently Master Chef are so fake they compare to a work of art forged by a five year old with finger paints. Trying to endear themselves to the audience by touting some sap story about how they’ve always wanted to be a singer/worked all their life to get here/they don’t get the benefit of the doubt and will shine if only given the chance in an effort in earn the vote. I’m also sick of hearing about the journey they’ve been on when they invariably get voted off. It’s been an emotional roller coaster has it? Had it’s ups and downs? Didn’t know what was going to happen? Wow, that must have been some intense cake you were baking or song you were warbling. I hope you get frequent flyer points for all those trips!
The judges are little better. Some of the questions they ask are just as bad as field reporters interviewing disaster survivors. “You were singing a song about love. But what was going through your mind when you were singing it?” Oh I don’t know Mr Genius, murdering puppies? Or even better “I’m sorry, you won’t be coming back. The public and us feel you just not good enough. How does that make you feel?” Oh it makes me feel FANTASTIC! Or how about “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re dancing is horrid, you have two left feet and you are going to have to try harder on this then you have ever had to on anything else in your life in order to be half as good as the guy who is second last in the leader board.” Thanks, because there are so many other ways to interpret those comments.
The makeup of the panel almost always exclusively follows the following formula:
The Nice One – During the audition process they are usually the ones saying things like “Oh, that wasn’t quite what we’re looking for, but you do have something unique and you should keep up practicing as you will find yourself soon. Here have a freshly backed cookie” usually while woodland creatures are frolicking around them. Ostensibly, this judge will most often be a female, or at least has been in the ones I’ve watched.
The Nasty One – Usually these ones are so nasty one has to think it’s an act put on for the camera’s. They will spend the entire run of the series pointing out every little flaw, mistake in a performance, general stuff up, often with such bile that the only thing that could make it worse is if they had a sack of bunnies next to them and as they are rendering their judgements will periodically take one out and break it’s neck. Generally they spout things like “You will never amount to anything no matter how hard you try so you should stop now.” And woe betide any who question their assessments of them or they will be treated to a spiel like “Who the hell do you think you are? You’re a nobody. I’ve been in the
The Mediator or Balance – This one, like the name implies, balances out the extremes of the other two, and will usually sit between them in order to mediate the arguments that crop up around the other two. The Mediator usually will say things from either side of the spectrum, but very rarely travels down to either extreme unless someone REALLY blows them away. Things like “You don’t have the strongest voice or can hit the right notes. Take some time and practice and try again next year and I can see you doing really well” or “You’re did quite well with that dance, I can see the improvement you’ve made since you started the competition. Well done.” This type of judge can be either male or female.
Most of these shows will have a panel of 3 judges, but occasionally one crops up that has 4. If one does, expect the forth to be a Cloudcuckoolander. The link will explain everything.
Next, as the genre has progressed the very concept of some of these programs shows a horrifying lack of creativity. Some of the earlier ones were ok, but as time went on, weirder concepts have crept in or rehashes of previous failures have been produced. An example of the former, one from Australian TV at the moment involves someone taking a job interview in their own home while providing dinner for their potential new boss. Seriously. You could come up with nothing more exciting then sticking a camera in a home and filming a job interview and dinner? Riveting TV! Let’s see, what new show can we create but has everything in place already so we won’t actually need to do any extra work. I know! Jr Master Chef. How original. Instead of getting a group of adults in and having them cook, we’ll do exactly the same thing and just lower the age threshold on the application form. We’ll make MILLIONS! Or what about something that they axed because no one cared about it anymore. Australian Idol. I know, we’ll move it to another network and change the name to include an X because that makes it awesome. We’ll even use one of the old judges as well. Yep, X Factor!
Every new show they make to fit in with it is even worse then the last as they exhaust concept after concept in order to pull in the ratings as people get bored. Seriously, how many times can you watch fat people push themselves to loose weight or celebrities ballroom dance. It’s time Reality TV fades from reality forever.
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